Team Pabst Biography Page

Biographies

Name	Matt Jensen
Nickname	The Original Captain. Yeah, he's our George Washington.
Started Paddling	2001
Stopped Paddling	2006 - when I had a kid. Captain will bring back the noise in 2018 with EJ. Yeah...I said it.
Kayak	Pyranha 420
Paddle	H20-Team Paddle
Helmet	Sweet Holy Diver
Spray Skirt	Snap Dragon Skirt
PFD	Astral 200 Vest
Favorite Phrase	"Jim, You go first!"
Favorite Road Trip	Any trip involving Brian "Space Ghost" Clement. Wildman to Pier's Gorge was a sweet ride.
Favorite River	Pike River: Everything from Class I to Class V in a fifteen mile stretch of river!!! Damn Dave's Falls looks fun. Maybe Jim will borrow me HIS boat in the spring (and give me a push).
Favorite Play Spot	Pemene Falls
Favorite Trick	LLLLOOOOPPPP!!!!!
Favorite Kayak All Time	Perception Arc: Love how it blocks the sun when you stern squirt.
Kayak Chronology	Perception Arc Perception Method Air WaveSport XXX WaveSport Ace 4.7 WaveSport T2 Riot Air 45 WaveSport ZG48 Perception Mr. Clean Riot Orbit 47 Pyranha 420

Name	Jim Jensen
Nickname	Jimmy Knoxville, Chuck Norris, and many more long forgotten around the campfire and cans of heaven.
Started Paddling	2001
Kayak	Liquid Log Vision 56
Paddle	H20-Team Paddle
Helmet	A Pabst flavored J3 - aka "The Holy Grail"
Spray Skirt	Ragin Wear Dry Deck
PFD	Astral Rescue Vest - "Safety First"
Favorite Phrase	"Matt, Giverrrr!!!" Second Favorite - "Matt, seriously, why'd you do that?" Six hours later and the help of some real friendly locals we finally got out of the snow. Damn the Red!!
Favorite Road Trip	This one has nothing to do with kayaking, but it does have a sweet 95 Monte Carlo, one brother Jensen, and a whole lotta stops. Gotta love Godfathers 3. A close second is any trip with Team Pabst. Forrest was right. You never know what you're going to get.
Favorite River	The Ottawa eh?
Favorite Play Spot	Rock Island or Salida. It's too close to call. Both are sweet.
Favorite Trick	Powershade. I have it Perfected!!
Favorite Kayak All Time	Dagger Redline - It deserves it for as many times as I swam out of it, cursed at it, kicked it, threw it on rocks... you get the point.
Kayak Chronology	Dagger Redline (Fun trip to Minnesota) Perception Mr. Clean (First swim on the root) Liquid Log Pop (Bought as Jimmy Knoxville) Liquid Log Vision 56 (Maybe the smartest purchase yet) Bliss Stick Jukka (Maybe the dumbest purchase yet, we'll see)
Favorite In-State Saloon	VFW Post 388 aka Headquarters
Favorite Out-of-State Saloon	The Lariat - "Let's get discoed!"
Best Story to Ask About	The Wild WOlf Inn and why we still get free beers going on five years. Hmmm? Any ideas Matt?
Best Fire	Tidy Cats, most definitely has more than nine lives.
Best Group to Camp With	The Land Rover Club from Chicago. Some 211 and Jimmy Knoxville
Best Pick-Up	Pearl. I know the rest of you are jealous!!
Best Quote	"Guys, seriously I have to go. I'm a professional kayaker." Sorry, that was Matt. I guess I don't really say too many cool things.
Best Idea Ever	Starting Team Pabst with Matt. We are almost too smart for our own good.
Worst Idea Ever	Bringing John C Rambo along Memorial Day. Ahhh, what a time.
Last Swim	Pool Session 2007. Yeah I got skills.
Most Effeminate Music Choice	Missy Higgins. Yeah...I know.

Thruths about Jim Jensen

Jim Jensen can grab a two year old bottle of Pabst from a bar shelf, blow off the dust and drink it like it's fresh. Because it is!!!!
Jim Jensen can work magic on women. It just depends on what you call magic. (see picture above...if that ain't magic I don't know what is)
Jim Jensen is unstoppable when REO is playing. Seriously, there is an Aura. He can see it and others have witnessed it.
Jim Jensen is a master of bar rags having learned from the great Danny LeLande. He has passed this knowledge down to fellow members Paul and Robby.
Jim Jensen, when drinking Pabst, can transform into anyone he wishes. He just likes being Jim, Jimmy Knoxville, or newly found Chuck Norris.
Jim Jensen can accomplish amazing feats while drinking Pabst. Like get outta chair, take a leak, grab Pabst, and sit down. He may even repeat those feats.
Jim Jensen also has the ability, while drinking Pabst, to stick his foot in his mouth further than humanly possible. "Yeah, I don't think I need your number. I'm not gonna call you anyways."
Jim Jensen is a master of Pursuit 'O' Pabst, Pabst Croquet, and generally all things Pabst.

Name	Paul Sheedy
Nickname	shady or pShady
Side Note	Co-Founder of Team Yahoo - a "special" entertainment-for-the-enjoyment-of-others group within Team Pabst. Currently accepting applications.
Started Paddling	Memorial Day 2003 in Buckwheat's Perception Method Air (Formerly Matt's) on Section 2 of the Wolf River approximately 2 hours before plunging a hatchet into my shin... (PBR, a hill, and one big log that needed chopping. right now).
Kayak	"Prototype Yellow" Wavesport Project 52
Paddle	The "anything-but-brittle" seven2 Axiom
Team's Favorite Quote	I wonder if my boat is still there. Oh S**T! There it goes.
Best Ghost Ride	1000 Islands section of the Fox - Running the Dam. The boat got tired of waiting for me
Favorite Phrase	"What could possibly go wrong"
Favorite Road Trip	Jesse, Jim, and I in Jesse's Subaru Forrester. We met up with Craig and Michelle and camped in the mountains of Colorado. We paddled for a week on the Arkansas River and watched the FibArk National Championships. I also had the best pizza of my life at Moonlight Pizza in Salida, CO.
Favorite Palindrome	He kayak, eh?
Favorite River	Ottawa River, Canada, eh?
Favorite Playspot	Salida Hole, CO or any wave that has room for only one boater at a time (from which 2 or 3 boaters may or may not gently "bump" that one boater off...)
Favorite Trick	Airscrew. Yeah, I can't wait to do an airscrew, that will be pretty sweet.
Favorite Campfire	Bearpaw 2005. 300 Saturn missiles screaming 1 at a time into the night for 15 minutes. Jamee, I am so sorry about that. I had no idea that quiet time started at 9PM...or that fireworks were not allowed here.
Favorite On-River Music	Jack Johnson, 311, and "Have you guys heard the new 'Guster' CD?"

Name	Tom Schrader
Started Paddling	2006
Kayak	Pyrahna 4Twenty S/M
Paddle	Werner Sidekick
Helmet	Predator Lee
Spray Skirt	Seals Spray Skirt
Favorite Phrase	"You want me to do what?"
Favorite Quote	"Jim, I just puked - twice. I think its time to go."
Favorite Road Trip	Hanging out with Scott, Scott, and Sam at Hot Springs Campgrounds
Favorite Trick	Crossing the eddy line or the Wet Exit. I rock!!
Best Idea Ever	Calling Aaron to bring the chains and winch (see below)
Worst Idea Ever	Offroading in the Excursion after torrential downpours.
Kayak Chronology	Wavesport EZ 47 Pyrahna 4Twenty S/M

Name	Mike Manger
Nickname	Paco (World's Hariest Man - 2004 and running)
Started Paddling	2004
Hometown	Savage, MN
Kayak	Jackson Allstar / Jefe
Paddle	Wavedog
Helmet	Sweet Rocker / Greatfull Heads - Served me well at PBR 2007
Lifelong Dream	Win Best Carnage at Pabst-A-Palooza - ACCOMPLISHED 2007!
Spray Skirt	Mountain Surf
Favorite Phrase	"Chanco, I need to borrow some sweats"
Favorite Road Trip	Whitewater tour of Montana and Idaho.
Favorite River	Split Rock or Kudunce (North Shore of Lake Superior)
Favorite Play Spot	Dirty Sanchez (Red River, Fargo, ND
Favorite After River Activity	Pabst and 4-Square
Kayak Chronology	15' Wilderness Systems touring kayak with hatch (aka "The Cadillac") 14' Loon Dagger Redline WaveSport EZ WaveSport T1 (Online purchase: Underestimated my weight and never paddled it. Gave it to Melissa and it won Wausau) Riot Sniper Dagger King Pin Liguid Logic Vision Liquid Logic Jefe Jackson Allstar

Name	Melissa Grover
Melissa Grover is a member of The Amazons, based on the Amazons of Greek mythology. Her mother is Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons. When Melissa leaves Minnesota to travel to the outside boating world, she is known as both Wonder Woman (Midwest Freestyle Champion) and as Melissa Grover. As Wonder Woman, she was awarded several gifts by the Gods of Team Pabst, including the "40 ouncer of Truth" created from the Golden Vats of Pabst Brewing Company and indestructible bracelets formed from empty kegs of Pabst. For years she was described by the members of Team Pabst, as "loud as Matt, obscene as Jim, hairier than Paco, airheaded like Tom, as horny as Rich (see picture), clumsy like Paul, as hyper as Dave, and at least as crazy as Jimbo."

Name	David Lemke
Nickname	Dave. Current Captain - Gotta love the split wheels!
Started Paddling	2005
Kayak	Jackson Allstar 2007
Paddle	AT2 Standard 196cm 0 degree
Helmet	J3
Spray Skirt	Snap Dragon Skirt
PFD	Stohlquist Brik
Favorite Phrase	"Go big or go home"
Favorite Road Trip	West Virginia, hands down. You have to love the Gauley.
Favorite River	Tellico River, TN
Favorite Play Spot	Ocoee River, Hell Hole
Favorite Trick	Helix, but I gotta learn to throw one first.
Kayak Chronology	Perception Method Air Jackson Allstar 2006 Jackson Allstar 2007

Name	Rich Jensen
Started Paddling	2001
Kayak	Pyrahna 4Twenty M/L
Paddle	Buckwheat's Waterstick
Helmet	ProTec Ace - Hasn't let me down yet and not for lack of trying.
PFD	A Blue One like Andy's.
Favorite Phrase	"We will sell it to you cheap!" (Ask Matt or Jim for the whole story)
Favorite Road Trip	Pike River, early spring with Matt and Pugs - FREEZING - reason I finally bought a neoprene body suit.
Favorite River	Peshtigo River (Shoeless and clueless is the only way)
Most Needed Equipment	A bumping system for my boat so I can fit in with the homies. I live in Chicago. Worrrrd.
Kayak Chronology	Perception Method Air (Buckwheat's) Perception Arc (Matt's) WaveSport Ace 4.7 (Matt's old boat) WaveSport T2 (Matt's newer boat) Perception Mr. Clean (Jim's old boat) WaveSport 5.1 (Some other dude's old boat) Pyranha 420 is the ride for 2007 and beyond

Name	Jim Pearce
After physicist Dr. Robert Bruce Banner was caught in the blast of Rage Against the Machine, he was transformed into Jimbo Pearce, a raging monster. Both Banner and Jimbo are frequently pursued by the police or the armed forces, often as a result of the destruction he has caused. While the coloration of his skin varies by the amount of Pabst consumed, Jimbo is most often green. In forty years, he has battled virtually every hole and wave the MidWest could throw at him in addition to swimming most of them.

Name	Andy Jensen
Nickname	Dr. J
Started Paddling	2006
Kayak	Dagger Crazy 88
Paddle	Jim's Old One
Helmet	Shred Ready - Still black sans the big breasted lady
PFD	???-its a blue one if that helps
Favorite Phrase	"Don't worry Katie, I'll save you."
Favorite Road Trip	Camping in the Smokies and going down the Natahala with brother Jim guiding me through the fog.
Favorite River	The French Broad in Fall
Favorite Play Spot	Lake Wataga
Favorite Trick	I'll tell you when I learn one
Favorite Kayak All Time	By far, Perception Mr Clean. There's some great history to this boat.
Most Looking Forward To	Boating with the gators - Can you say "Roll Dammit!"
Most Needed Equipment	Spear Gun to tame the gators. Back off Bitches!
Kayak Chronology	Perception Mr Clean Still waiting for my next one Finally got a new kayak - Dagger Crazy 88

Name	Robby McCabe
Nickname	Senor Pabst, The Mouth, Robstone, Coach
Started Paddling	Pending, so for now strictly shore support
Kayak	Folding Camp Chair
Paddle	Megaphone
Helmet	Any type of Pabst Gear or Hat
Spray Skirt	I only lift up the skirts of ladies
PFD	My Own Blubber
Favorite Phrase	"PBR me RFN!" or "Need another cold one?"
Favorite Road Trip	Up to the Wausau Rodeo
Favorite River	World=Amazon, Local=Root River
Favorite Play Spot	on Shore
Favorite Trick	Pabst Bottle Bowling
Best Idea Ever	Inventing the trivia Game Pursuit Of Pabst with fellow Co-Founder Brad Cummings
Worst Idea Ever	Playing Pursuit of Pabst on New Years Eve before going out on the town. Double headers at this age are normally not a good idea either.

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